Berserking Wizard
by X0ll0X
Summary: Harry Dresden is transported to the world of Berserk in wake of the World Transformation and has to trade a passive aggressive universe for a positively predatory one. Story is set after Skin Game on the Dresden site and will contain spoilers until at least chapter 337 of Berserk. Rated M slightly for language but mostly because of the Berserk universe.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: I do not own the Dresden Files nor Berserk. Basically if you recognize it, it doesn't belong to me.**

**That out of the way I guess I should give a fair warning. I have stuff planned out and know where I'd like to take the story but since I haven't found someone with whom I can trade ideas with aka who has at least a working knowledge of both series on top of being able to help with my English and storytelling methodology the story is probably a bit rough around the edges to say the least with a bit of an infodump I cringe to see but don't know how to get around it. For that I apologize in advance.**

**If the previous statement didn't scare you off, I hope you enjoy this first chapter. If you want a soundtrack I'd recommend the Metal Gear Rising OST. It's what has inspired to write this.**

**Edit: The Heir of the Void started editing from chapter 2 onward. This significantly increased the readability of said chapters.**

I was being cradled by a smoking hot woman with dreadlocks and in severe state of undress while lying on my back in the middle of a forest fire. Of course I shot her in her head off with my revolver and incinerated the rest while she was reeling away from the surprise.

Don't get me wrong my chivalry runs strongly in me and then there's the Wintermantle's shtick of wanting to mount and conquer anything remotely feminine but I had some clues that things weren't as they seemed. Firstly the creature reeked of enough dark magic that even my baser urges didn't want to have anything to do with her. Secondly the description of the nicely shaped creature was not only figuratively. Even before the very intimate encounter with my fire spell patches of skin were happily smoldering away and her body temperature was beyond anything humans should be comfortable with. Lastly was the pink, scantily clad elephant in the room: no sane person would behave like this in close proximity to a raging inferno.

Of course I wouldn't have a clue as to who had started said fires.

Beside I knew what happened in the now ex-grove.

"Hell's bells", I muttered contemplating the mess I was in this time.

"Wow boss, you sure are thorough since you stepped onboard with winter", chimed in a shrill voice 10 feet above my current sitting position.

The voice belonged to an apparent youth about 20 inches tall with dragonfly wings on his back, clad in composite carbon armor with strategic silver plates. He would almost look funny in a too sincere fantasy action figure way if there wasn't also the carefully wrapped steel box cutter and his newly made custom silver sword which both were very, very sharp indeed. However you cut it he conjured images of a miniature king Leonidas especially considering his previous accomplishments.

"Well if it isn't Major-General Toot-toot. You're a feast for sore eyes Major-General since now it looks like I wasn't the only involved in whatever happened back in the Nevernever", I replied, honestly relived.

"It's not like I had anything to say in the matter", the extra-large pixie pouted, "I was so close to the pizza I could practically smell it. But no, of course I had to be yanked to just beyond the outer edge of Faerie!"

"Does that mean we're still in the Nevernever? Because it doesn't really lent itself as holiday destination for mortals so I doubt that."

"I'm pretty sure we haven't left the Nevernever." Toots readily responded

"_aparturum_"

Trying to make a portal seemed like a good idea since the Wee Folk have a uncanny ability to find their way I figured it to be the right moment to try this plan of attack.

Too bad absolutely nothing happened

"Hey Toots do you have any explanation as to why nothing is happening on the ripping a hole in the very fabric of reality side of things. I mean I was mentally prepared on acid flooding out, some explosions or having to chant praise to otherworldly terrors but nothing happening is anticlimactic especially for my standards", I asked in the hope that my more or less magically attuned friend would be able to provide semblance of logic even if the friend in question was oblivious to said attunement and was probably contractually obliged to only cause mischief with any magical talent he'd possess.

"Well I think that the Nevernever here has fused with something very earthlike, boss", provided my impromptu dimension-dar, all the while pointing at an impromptu materialized chart showing something similar to what I vaguely remembered when I was taught about Einstein's special relativity theory as if it should clarify things. You know the one with the floating carpet and balls

"It would perhaps explain the mortals. But wait, how are you able to have an idea this specific about whatever happened?"

"It just feels this way. Don't you feel anything, Harry?" Toot asked innocently enough with just a slight undertone of pity.

I was pitied by one of the Wee Folk over the lack of knowledge. This is going to be a long day, the report of which I'd had to heavily edit if I'd like to cling to a shred of dignity amongst my peers.

"Well no, Major-General. Could you explain me why my portal isn't working? Assume I'm some kind of primitive monkey", not able to keep a snarky tone out of my question.

"It's simple, boss. Since the realms have melded together the portal hasn't anything to connect to."

"Crap", I instinctively flexed my world famous wit muscle upon realizing the possible implications of that.

"So basically I'm guessing that we'll be stuck here until we find the edge of this weird zone"

I already knew I would regret asking but I had to do it anyways

"How big do you think this bizarre-area is?"

"About the size of Earth with about the same geometry", my major general happily provided.

"Which is a sphere and thus edgeless", connecting some very scary dots, "Stars and stones. By the way toots you might want to invest in some Head and Shoulder you're spreading dandruff everywhere."

"Fear not there might be some pockets left where the merging isn't complete", Toots happily provided. Looking around with a puzzled look on his face just now noticing the dust he was exuding as well.

"Oh this is new! I've never produced fairy dust before", another excited exclamation from Toot-Toot

"I don't even want to know anymore", I muttered

Since Toot mentioned the possibility of area where there is still some respect for the natural order of thing I decided that it since sitting around and brooding wouldn't help much anyways it's best to perhaps seek help from Bizarro-world's wizards if there are any and ask with it is the hell happened over here. Best way to achieve my lofty goal would be finding civilization and thus moving.

Since the adrenalin from my previous encounters had subsided a bit I was able to feel one area where the magic was a bit denser as its surroundings so I opted to go that way as it might indicate the presence of a few practitioners.

"Toots do you want to find a way home to your beloved pizzas and perhaps Lacuna?"

"Pizza! Oh and bragging about my fairy dust to Lacuna would be nice as well, I guess", he admitted the second part with a bit of reluctance.

Lacuna was a battle crazy, celery loving member of the Wee Folk who tried to kill me one and a half years back and had been in a more or less friendly rivalry with Toot ever since.

"Let's start moving then. You might want to hold on to me", preparing a spell in my mind to get out of the mysterious conflagration I was in the center of.

"_Perimo_!"

The spell ripped the excess heat from an area 20 feet wide to the edge of the completely naturally formed inferno and stored it in the Spear of Destiny that was mounted onto my Staff. Alright it would probably qualify more as a spear as it was now but that just sounded weird even after practicing poking stuff with a pointed stick for a while now but that's beside the point.

"_ventas externa"_

Now that I had I nice low-cost air flow from above an outwards from me, partially powered by the energy reservoir in the Holy Artifact and thus a very fancy air conditioner. I made my way towards the little accumulation of magical energy. With the size and intensity of it, it couldn't be far.

You'd think I'd know better by now.

OoOoOoO

To know how I ended up being stranded in whatever place I wanted to flee from now we probably have to go back a couple of month.

After my, what I feel now, obligatory and unavoidable heist of Hades' Faults I decided to use my newly acquired secret millionaire status to bring some decisive changes into my life. Starting with buying a simple small house in walking distance of Michael's house primarily to spend more time with my daughter Maggie and read bedtime stories whenever I could (with occasional condescending huff from the resident Doggosaurus mouse due to pronunciation) and to establish once again a base of operations in Chicago proper. With the help of Rashid I was able to get into the White council once again and was pretty much reinstated as Warden shortly thereafter.

Don't get me wrong I really didn't like them any more than before and of course would be glad to do without but in the last few years I had to learn the hard way how much my reputation alone was worth under the common nasties that now roamed the streets once again since the exaggerated rumors of my demise. Rejoining the Wardens was probably the fastest way of getting the word back out there and as added bonus I had access to an extra information network on top of saving headaches about secretly contacting the useful members of the Elder Council and the Wardens.

It isn't like I thought that sudden increase of unrelated property damage in Chicago and regions wouldn't make them the least suspicious. Honestly. Being the Winter Knight can be nice as well since the Merlin granted me much more freedom as not to anger Mab.

Since I realized I wanted to take the father (of two) shtick seriously I figured I might as well do some sincere preparations in magic toys, fighting and general survivability.

Reconnecting with the Alphas was easier than one would think. Lots of beer, pizza, explanations and a bit of table top role playing go a long way for that to work. It did help though that I went and joined their ranks of werewolf under their guidance and went on a bit of Fomor stomping spree after I didn't embarrassed them that much in wolf form.

Being able to shift into a massive wolf has certain perks against mortal would be warlocks and the like. Not many people, and lesser nasties for that matter, could function well facing the primal terror that massive wolfs call forth. Coincidently my six foot eight frame clad in the lean muscle translated in a similar 3 foot tall and 5 foot long angular, black wolf. The mantle of the Winter Knight was easier controlled in wolf form since its nature was pretty wolf-like to begin with and now it could move distinctly faster facilitating its aggressive tactics without getting me killed in the process.

My time as semi-voluntary hellhound and to a lesser extent my awful and short-lived time with the Hexenwulf belt did certainly help with relearning to move and the shift in prioritizing my senses. Eventually with the help of my other daughter Alice, spirit of air and knowledge, repository of the memories of the fallen angel Lasciel (a practiced shape shifter on top of that) and all around loveably sweet girl I was able to shift with my clothes and gear on making it exponentially more useful on top of rewiring a bits of my large amounts of unused real estate in my brains to be able to learn languages quicker as I had the feeling that my new job was going to go international sooner than later.

Changing with my duster caused some dark grey marking on my coat in form of the imbedded protective runes of it making me look rather snazzy on top of big and scary.

While the whole releasing my inner beast was in progress I utilized the time to make new and improved versions of my beloved magical tools and researching the new weapons I gained from the Vaults. Me being me, I started with the foot long phallic object, the so called spear of destiny. It really looked like a normal leaf shaped spearhead, but boy did looks ever deceive. The spear has similar enchantment cutting qualities of the Warden's silver sword while also making concentrating magic channeled through it and acting as a huge energy storage.

I could see for sure why Nazi Germany was looking for this so frantically during WWII.

After getting a bit of a feel for it I determined that fitting the spearhead on top of a staff would be quite sensible and that I could make that focus with the right materials even more diverse. So I ended up with a staff with my basic functionalities, the force storage runes and more of an affinity towards fire and air magic as before, sadly relegating my blasting rod to the wider spread heavy duty work and backup.

The good thing about having a bit money to splash around was that I was able to hire the Svartalven to strengthen and infuse both my staff as my blasting stick with magically tempered silver increasing both their efficiency and bashing abilities so far that they'd withstand me going medieval with them. The staff in particular had become a bit of a work of art. The Svartelven introduced an elegant mechanism so that the spearhead could be easily attached and detached (by me) while truly securing it in place during combat. Along the sides ran ribbons of silver with embedded runes, ending in a slightly tapered butt cap that both ensured the balance of the spear was slightly higher than its dead center on top of adding to the highly appreciated hitting-things-where-it-hurts-potential. Finally I was able to use the spear as pseudo threshold and integrate a version of my greasying zapper on it that scaled exponentially from touching a live cow wire at a short unauthorized touch to a liquefying bolt of Zeus filled with righteous indignation for the really determined.

In celebration of my new pokey staff I even went and listened to my brother's advice. If that isn't as sign of an imminent apocalypse I simply don't know anymore. To the surprise of no one Thomas did know a few things on the topic of staying sane while having primal predatory instinct whispered into your ears at all time being a powerful white court vampire and all. Of course there were some differences in the modus operandi of our personal demons with mine being much more violent end his craving the taste of stimulated human specimens but the core principle remained. I had to look for a way to feed my inner beast in a small and controlled manner similar to what he himself found in his untimely ended career as a hairdresser.

I had just put a blade on a large stick, I had strong feelings about staying alive even when the battle shifted to non-nukeable proximity and the Wintermantle really enjoys the primal thrill of close combat. Simply put I decided to get me some poking and sparring lessons with the Einherjaren stationed in the castled monstrosity where once my apartment was. I even came to enjoy my daily spars and channeling a tiny bit of Winter during the fights kept its influence much smaller during the rest of the day. It also made me able to better control the ruthless instincts that would have had me killed in the fight with Fitz during the whole mess with Maeve. It was also rather fun to see the Jewish Jedi Knight of the Cross having to make true of his promise about sparring after receiving a light saber. Having a rehabilitating Karrin around on top of Micheal's tutelage did help Butters strengthen his determination far enough that I couldn't help being impressed with the scrawny coroner.

Talking about Karrin. After she stabilized enough that she could move around in areas of the hospital without too much fancy electronics I had the pleasure of wheeling her around to and from her rehabilitation, opening doors for her and being a general gentleman, much to her annoyance. Following her discharge I even had a couple of hard fought opportunities to pay for her meals during our long due dates. Maggie took a liking in her as well and Karrin even stayed over at my place enough times to start wondering about the impeccable cleanliness of it. Besides all that she was determined to make the estimated 90% recovery a 95% one while also watching over Butters training regime.

Luckily for me Mab seemed to want to save her little toy for something big (and rather painful no doubt) in the future and only sent me to deal with a couple of Warlocks that dabbled too much with Outsiders which suited the white council just fine. The resulting rabbles were just fine as distractions for me and the Mantle. It helped that Mab allowed for my own investigations prior to any actions, knowing it would make me more willing to actually help her, to determine their positions and more importantly their guilt. I noticed that in all cases the dabbling with the Outer Gates and in one case summoning an actual minor Outsider was the least of their offenses. I didn't had problems sleeping after their overdue executions at my hand which were much quicker and cleaner than anything they had done. Besides I started realizing what was at stake.

OoOoOoO

It was during such a hunt that the incident happened which marooned me on this non-earth earthlike object. The warlock I was after at the time used mind control to move 7 young females into doing a ritualistic and bloody mass "suicide" to summon an outsider and bind it to him. Needlessly to say I was rather motivated to find that asshole no matter how far he'd run. Luckily for me he was attached to his pet cosmic horror so tracking him was easy enough. The thing is his Outsider had a distinct physical and metaphysical smell. Or in layman terms he simply reeked in more ways than one in such a way I couldn't go wrong with literally following my nose from the initial side of summoning in wolf form after drinking a sense enhancing potion.

I found the warlock and beasty near the outer borders of winter. He looked comfortable in the knowledge that nobody should have been able to follow him here and even if someone was crazy enough Mr. Nasty should notice the pursuer ahead of time. Sadly for him he didn't count with me. Wolves can be very quiet in the kind of dark, untamed forests I found the warlock in even big once like me. Too make it extra unfair for him I trained myself to move quietly a long time ago and as the Winter Knight I was on my home grounds. The minimal magical spike that was generated while shifting back into human form was the only warning the two got and remarkably the warlock even managed to start to turn his head. Not that it mattered. Before even the slightest thought of danger, not to mention his Death Curse formed in his mind, his head was flying through the air, his neck cleanly severed by the Spear of Destiny.

The time it took for Mr. Nasty to react was fast but not near some of the heavy hitters I had to fend against. Besides most creatures that are used to simply over power their prey are laughably easy to predict. I rolled away from my initial decapitating position all the while carrying the momentum of my strike with me. At the same time the outsider pulverized the menacing ground where I used to be I separated what should be its foot from what should be one of its legs.

"Too slow" I teased, the ending mangled by my renewed transformation. I found its presumed knee of his remaining leg near my muzzle so I hamstringed him before darting away to create a bit of distance and the living fungal growth before once again shifting back to bipedal spell slinging mode.

"infriga!" I shouted, Winter singing in my veins.

Off course nothing happened.

"Did you really think that such petty attacks would have any effect on me Mortal? I'm the mighty…"

It was as far as the crippled Mr. Nasty was able to gloat before I closed the distance the distance in wolf form and stabbed him near were sensible creatures have their heart(s).

"Ignus!" Bringing to life a miniature sun with all its monster searing glory.

"Did you really think you'd be the first monster I'd encounter that could cancel magic, Wonder Ball? It's always the same with you muscle heads thinking it's enough to toughen up your skin and taunting the wizard."

Sadly the gloating of my own fell on deaf ears since Mr. Nasty was selfishly busy being devoured by an ever-growing ball of nuclear fusion.

"Besides if you want to taunt do it after truly disabling or killing your opponent. Do your homework and read the evil overlord list it's getting tedious for me to go through the motions again and again."

By the time I finished ranting and got Winter out of my system I was talking to a pile of ash so I canceled my spell and turned around to go back. I might even be on time for Dinner at Micheal's together with Maggie.

I had barely finished the thought as thunderous roar was heard all around me followed by an insistent gravitational pull and towards the landscape which was busy folding into shapes straight out of the mind of Escher and blackness ensued.

OoOoOoO

When I finally decided to rejoin the land of the living I found myself once again in a forest. Mind you not the frosty piney one I was in before but a warmer and leafy one.

One thing I was fairly certain of was that I wasn't punted into a forest in Summer even with the lush foliage and everything. For starters for the first time I couldn't get a response out of my mother's gem which hadn't happened in Faery up until now. Also a strong source of dark energy pulsed in a little distance which was very much atypical for the bright and warm Summer.

After muttering a bit about Kansas, my relative location and brooding about the Nevernever's lack of consideration of basic physics and logics I stood up and made my way towards the source of corruption in the hope of finding a landmark that might lead to a Way back earth. No way in hell I was trying to open a way in a, to me, uniform forest without a way even estimating where it would open up to.

Besides even if I didn't find something useable for that end I might be able to encounter a nice little warlock or a cute little demon to smite just to vent a bit of mine and Winter's anger. The difference in our angers was that I was annoyed by the fact that I'd probably miss Maggie's bedtime story and Winter about how unprepared the previous warlock and Nasty were.

What I found instead of a convenient pressure valve was a dark caricature of a lush grove with dense enough to make a makeshift cave system, overgrown with fungi. Not wanting to be stupid and waltz right in a nest of whatever nasty creature inhabited this forsaken grove I turned to find a direction that didn't involve any of that and didn't loop me around. It's then when I noticed the carelessly discarded, rotting body of a truly unfortunate woman.

The mangled mess that remained of her face was missing both eyes, the eye sockets shattered. Her nose was missing. As were her breasts, both ripped off showing her ribcage. Her warped, broken arms doing their best to grasp for a severed head of child that lay nearby. Her torn labia lips caked with blood.

Winter and I exploded in unison at the sight of such savagery. Throwing rational thought out of the window I turned, channeling power through my staff and rime forming on my duster, to face the entry of the grove to smite the unlucky creatures that dared to do this.

The closer I came to what appeared to be the main entry the more bodies strewn about I noticed, these however with their belly ripped open exposing the remains of their organs and various body parts ripped off.

By the time I arrived by the entry and was greeted by a scouting party of trolls each and every one of them clad in still bloodied, stolen armor I wasn't furious anymore. I had become Death personified the cool rational of Winter singing a song of certain annihilation in my veins and frost blossoming from my very footsteps.

"fuego"

A mere whisper produced a needle fine lance of molten fury, hot enough to evaporate everything in a foot wide radius bisecting the ogre squadron while dragging it across them easily punch through them and setting fire to the grove behind them.

In the light provided by the now raging fire I was able to see the savaged bodies of countless women, children and a few particular mutilated men. I also saw plenty of trolls.

"_infriga forzare_"

Another whisper, this time spawning 2 feet long, barbed icicles and launching them at near sonic speed at the ogres visible, nailing them to the fungal growths in groups of twos and threes with satisfying thuds.

Following the brief silence my entrance created was shattered by a hundred of trolls crying out in unison in a challenge against yours truly while the first creatures started rushing towards me while large tusked creature started to stir in the background.

"True focus lies somewhere in between rage and serenity they say?" I mused as I split the skulls of the quickest trolls in a precise, Winter powered swing whirling my "staff" around.

"Let's put that theory to the test, you ugly fuckers." Hitting the second row of trolls with the butt end of the spear, glimmering flames appearing where silver came into contact with the first troll launching a group of them into the nearest tree under the symphony of bones shattering.

Forming a spell in my mind in the endless split seconds after in between hitting the second group, them encountering very sudden deceleration with local flora and the next group of would be murderers all the while simultaneously feeding power in my shield bracelet.

"_gravitus_"

I made a quiet suggestion while stabbing the ground and thus anchoring myself to it while the combined gravity of a 2 mile radius around was being concentrated in an area merely 300 feet across. I was simultaneously greeted by the sound of animals crying in confusion due to the loss of gravity and the thunderous noise of the canopy in front crashing down, trees splintering and monsters being reduced to a fine paste.

Seeing that a raiding party greeted me and what lay in the clearing of this particular part of the grove I rationalized that I wouldn't find any mortal survivors and thought that they'd agree with me when I made sure that it wouldn't be any different for the trolls.

"_flammemurus_"

Using the rebound of the sudden lack of extra gravity as my previous spell canceled out I forced magma to erupt around the entirety of what remained of the grove creating an infernal wall separating the trolls from safety.

"It looks like you're locked in here with me."

Following my casual observation and easing off my shield I went to work to make sure there'd be no survivors. Easily shifting to wolf form I sprinted to the nearest trolls I found to rip their throats out, shifting back to fire a spear of liquid flames when I saw a group on the distance or encountering the bigger whale-like creatures which might be subspecies of ogres or if I simply more felt like stabbing or bashing the particular Troll I encountered. If too many wanted to try their luck at once I'd simply flash freeze the immediate area and stored their life energy inside the Spear of Destiny for later use and use the frozen remains as faulting points. Every now and then I felt claws, teeth or makeshift weapons uselessly sliding of my enchanted duster.

I saw last two remaining ogres moving towards me through the frozen remains of my last troll victims. Unable to restrain myself I flanked the first one, jumped on his back stabbing him jumping towards the last ogre shifting into wolf form ripping his throat out and returning to my original form nailing the landing.

"PARKOUR, BITCH!"

Not able to contain myself I finally shouted out my battle cry. Surveying the battle field I could only whistle seeing the destruction I caused which was even impressive for my standards. I could clearly see the ring of the now petered out lava fountain and the raging inferno beyond that was the previous serene forest. It made for a nice contrast to the frozen wasteland in the center if you want my humble opinion.

"Let's just quietly sneak away and hope no one wants to make the completely innocent wizard do some cleanup work."

Said the tired and bruised wizard in question when he suddenly and rudely gotten tackled by a well-proportioned, naked women with thick dreadlocks pinning the poor soul on his back with her on top.

**And that's the end of chapter 1, nicely looping back to our point of origin. A review would be welcomed and is quite frankly needed.**

**To be totally frank I don't know when the next chapter is going to be finished since it is my first story and with English not being my native tongue and all I really need some pointers as to what needs how much improvement. If there's enough interest I will try and to be more productive than Miura and will steer clear of Idol Master but no concrete promises because even though I found I rather liked typing stories, IRL is annoyingly busy at the moment and my typing speed is still absolutely atrocious.**

**To help me with the endeavor of improving feel free to provide some witty/snarky one liners Dresden would spout in medieval scenarios or science fiction related ones. I've sadly noticed that I'm a bit out of touch in that regard in lieu to being more a reader/gamer with too little time to spare to catch up to way too many interesting series.**

**Finally don't worry too much about Dresden being too OP or anything. Guts was able to pretty much annihilate a troll nest in his lonesome as well and where I'm planning to go trolls are really nothing more than cannon-fodder. This universe is actively being a dick to people as opposed to being merely passively aggressive about it. Dresden will discover Pandeamonium and the true nature of the apostles. Needlessly to say he wont be pleased. On the way there will be enough social-political tensions and language barriers on top of endless wave of mooks to survive. The way I see it he's delightfully under quipped enough to serve as the universe's stress-ball.**


	2. Chapter 2

****Disclaimer****: I do not own the Dresden Files nor Berserk. Basically if you recognize it, it doesn't belong to me.****

**First off a shout out and huge thanks to Heir of the Void. He was willing to act as a beta-reader, a sounding chamber and a editing wizard worthy of the senior council. The linguistic quality has improved considerably thanks to his efforts.**

**About the power levels comparison between the Berserk the Dresden Files. I'd say that the average monster of Midland will cap out on untrained Dresden!ghoul level and the Apostles are in the range between military trained ghoul and Denarian. Zodd for example would be a more pragmatic and experienced Genewoska with the invisibility traded in for better regeneration. Generally speaking the Beserk!monsters are less intelligent but far more numerous than the Dresden!monsters with as exceptions of stuff like the Sea God. I feel that God Hand should probably be at least Lords of Outer Night powerful with Femto being a statistical stray at above Fairy Lady power levels.**

**That out of the way, I hope you enjoy.**

„You know Toots? I'm a bit disappointed that you really only suffer from some weird mutant dandruff," I said while dispatching psycho-lady (now with added bat wings of doom) for fifth time that day – this time with a lance of ice for variety's sake – "being able to fly and avoid this nonsense would be handy right now"

"I'm as well. Just as I thought that I'd finally have a chance with Lady Tinkerbelle my dreams get cruelly crushed." The miniature Spartan's ears drooped ever so slightly.

Even if you'd never catch me actually saying it, seeing the little fairy this downtrodden did break my heart a bit. He was one of my oldest friends after all and I did think he did himself a disservice. I would have died facing Aurora if it wasn't for him and his kin and again when I was jumped by a fairy hit squad with an affinity for using iron pins.

To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if I'd soon seen him dragging around a massive pair of brass balls. Most wizards, me included, shudder at the thought of a genuine Skinwalker, a creature Morgan literally had to nuke to dispatch, never mind actually fighting said nightmare while being only somewhat larger than average pixie.

"Now listen major-general, that prissy, jealous, backstabbing diva wouldn't be able to keep up with anyways."

That was as far as I got until Toot-Toot gasped, his eyes growing to size of small plates.

"Harry please tell me that you don't actually believe the story of Peter Pan in the official form. Peter was simply a cat's paw for lady Tinkerbelle to collect enough children to empower herself by preventing them from aging, a win-win situation in my books by the way. She needed the power to singlehandedly defeat the powerful Warlock Hook and his ticking crocodile demon after they dared to move against the king of dewdrop fairies. Of course Peter took all the glory." Toots was gesturing vividly by this point, clearly upset by my ignorance. "Disappointed in you, I am." He solemnly exclaimed, shaking his head in quiet disgust. On top of stealing my spiel he also somehow managed to shift his skin tone to a greyish green and was leaning on a cane in midair.

"I don't know whether I should be ashamed of my ignorance, be glad that Bob isn't here to laugh his metaphorical ass off, or be proud of how much I rubbed off to you Toots." I said, effectively conveying my inner turmoil which, after having some time to recalibrate, started to decide on pride.

Of course I wasn't able to say as much because, at that moment, my paranoia senses began tingling on what I had identified as the crazy stalker lady frequency.

"Du gehörst mir!" She cried, obliterating her non existing element of surprise.

"So you _can_ do more the screech and moan routine!" I exclaimed whirling around to face her "Too bad I don't talk German."

"_Ventas servitas!_"

A sudden gust of wind and, I'm not kidding, what looked like an army of tiny, translucent insects launched the succubus wannabe into the sky mid-leap.

"_Fuego!_"

A wrist thick beam of fire, somehow lined with miniature, fiery lizards, shot out of my freshly drawn blasting rod and hit the flailing demoness, who was still trying to orient herself.

"Boom, headshot!" I quipped, basking in the glory my skillful shot.

I wanted to turn back to the way out of my lush and only _slightly_ burning environment when I heard the now familiar wet impact of innards and ectoplasm hitting the local vegetation with varying velocities. This time however it was accompanied by a heavier sounding thud. After a quick search of the impact zone and a bit of old fashioned poking through gore I found something.

I would rate it as bizarre, were it not for the all other shit I've been through over the years. It was a brown egg shaped stone with the facial elements of that one creepy fat uncle most people have scrambled all over it. Intrigued by it, I decided to take it with me for future study, in hopes of making some sense of the situation. Just as I pocketed the egg I could have sworn that I saw the mouth move a tiny bit, but after a further inspection for rock-ness, which the object passed with flying colors, I wrote it off as the incoming fatigue playing tricks with me.

With one last glance to the macabre work of modern art I helped to create I resumed my trek towards presumed civilization together with my now silent but glowering fairy companion, giving me some time to sort out my tumultuous mind.

I first noticed budding Miss McGowan being a construct out of intestines covered with a skin of ectoplasm after my ill-fated bout of optimism while under the influence of the first round against her. The idle thought apparently was seen as a challenge towards bizarro-world. Like I've always told people: just because it's paranoia, that doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon behind you ready to eat your face off. Rational psychologists, none of whom would have had the slightest change of survival out here, might have made a case that I suffered from a massive persecution complex. I choose to overrule that diagnosis and decided that this world was actively out to get me, as I was soon met by numerous leftover trolls, giant nightmare bats and demonic spiders, all of which I had encountered what felt like a lifetime before. It was after a short round of clean-up duty that I had to fend of the demon tart for the second time. By the virtue of not incinerating her this time (I opted for impaling with extreme prejudice) I found out her true innardy nature.

Since then, her attacks had become regular enough to use as an impromptu biological clock. It had gotten to the point where one had to wonder where all the intestine came from and whether or not they would run out sometime soon.

It wasn't the only thing I had come to grip with in my little stroll through the forest, which I had found severely lacking of any roads, yellow bricked or otherwise. As the adrenaline subsided, I had some time to ponder how exactly I've had been able to throw that much magic around.

Simply put, the air was charged with enough magic to rival the Nevernever. It practically crackled with the stuff, which was partially responsible for my initial confusion. To top it off, magic in this corner of the world felt practically alive. Spells moved with a gleeful ease. My fire spells were even more ravenous than normal, my wind spells danced with playful enthusiasm, my ice spells radiated predatory serenity, and the gravity spell I used earlier, one I hadn't been able to cast without a massive ley line until now, seemed to speak volumes of stoic inevitability.

At first I thought I was hallucinating, but after a few more encounters with my newly appointed favorite cannon fodder, I had to either accept that yes, I was seeing tiny critters interacting with my spells on a kind of elemental level, or that I was going crazy. Wind spells caused ethereal insects to appear, with ice it was a few of the insects being swarmed by translucent fish, and fire beams had flaming lizards clawing outwards with a primal hunger. The longer I was here, the more I saw these critters, even when I wasn't doing my Gandalf on crack impression.

"Harry, you did understand what the demon lady said or do I really have to translate that for you?" Toot-Toot's question, in combination with his sudden appearance in front of my face pulled me out of my musings.

From his aggravated look and what might have been actual thunderclouds forming over his little head, it probably wasn't the first time he asked me this question in one form or another. After his perplexed statement way back when I first found out that the pizza-obsessed but scary-competent fairy could, of course, speak Russian, it wasn't that big a leap to assume that he could also speak German, amongst a plethora of other languages. During the first revelation of this ability, he proceeded to argue the big black Russian Knight of the Cross' choice of name for him – in Russian but that should go without saying. I think it took most of the self-control Sanya had to not burst into laughter at first, only to get swept up by the fairy's fierce sincerity and arguing back at him.

"No Toots, I don't know what she said. For the sake of argument, assume you're trying to communicate with a seven-foot hairless ape." The statement wasn't so far from the truth, in my opinion. Lord knows how many times my chivalrous tendencies caused my inner caveman to grunt in outrage and looking for the nearest club-like object due to seeing a woman being hurt. Call me chauvinistic for that, I don't care. Just don't hurt children, women or the defenseless near me. The Winter Mantle agreed with me on this point; just ask the Red Court or those Trolls.

Oh wait. You can't.

"Also try to avoid big words; you're talking to the man who still only knows the barest basics of Latin despite using it on a daily basis and it being it the official language for the White Council." I added, even though that it probably was for the best that my Latin skills were so lacking. It would go very poorly if I forced-pushed or immolated someone during an official meeting because I was too familiar with the language.

"I'm going to ask for a raise if this continues." Toot-toot Muttered before turning to address me. "Basically, the ever-resurrecting demon stated that you belong to her, in very definite terms[JL7] ."

"Even though that sounds ominous and all, we should probably tell her that I'm not interested in long distance relationships. And that she's too late. I don't think Mab would react kindly to hearing that she has to share her favorite stress ball." I said, trying to mollify the pixie.

Too be honest, from what I've seen so far, I didn't feel that threatened. I reckoned she wasn't even close to most Sidhein terms of power. And those were quite killable.

"Talking about Miss McGowan, wasn't her next attack due two minutes ago? Even if you consider increased running distance from her nearest intestine storage?" I asked, having finally fallen into a comfortable rhythm with her attacks. Perhaps one little known fact about wizards is that they're even bigger creatures of habit than most accountants. It could also be just be my paranoia.

"I don't know, Harry. What I do know is that we're almost at the edge of the forest and thus have nearly reached a bordering town, which I might add was also affected by your gravity spell." Toot-Toot supplied.

That was actually surprisingly helpful. Well, he should know, since I _did_ sent him scouting after discovering that his fairy dust did not in fact grant flight to the recipient.

All things considered, it might have been for the better that I didn't go for an avian form to shift to. Knowing my luck, I'd be plagued by pockets of low air pressure and freak turbulences.

"Hey Toots, can you give me any pointers on what I should avoid saying, or perhaps even tell what I have to say to not be killed the instant I open my mouth?" I requested. "I would even consider a renegotiation of your wages when we get out of this mess."

"Well if you put it that way." He replied, and whizzed a bit closer to my right ear.

He taught me a sentence which meant, according to him, that I came in peace and requested a place to spend the night. I choose to write off the mischievous tone I heard in his voice, as well as the sudden, materialization large, curved horns on his helmet as figment of my imagination.

I have a dream that someday I would know better.

**OoOoO**

We approached the edge of the village trying, to look as non-threatening as possible. I shouldn't have tried. A man packed in lean muscle casually walking out of the forest was bad. The fact that the village was a recent victim of rogue pocket of zero gravity, the forest was still on fire weren't helping my case either.

While approaching the town I could see the damage my brief use of earth magic had caused. Plenty of straw roofs were collapsed, adding to the general mess of scattered and broken items lying on the ground. The first sign of actual life was the shout of one of the village's guardsman, probably a recent addition to the daily life of these people if the grove was any indication, which in turn was taken up by fellow guardsmen and villagers alike.

And thus, by the time I finally reached the village proper, a sizable crowd had gathered, each of them watching my every move with mistrust written clearly on their faces. The biggest of the lot, a broad shouldered man dressed in leather armor with chainmail visible and armed with a well-used spear and axe, approached me. He seemed a man of few words, but his body language spoke volumes about how far his trust in me went.

From the looks of it, that trust went about as far as he could kick me; probably not that far. I really didn't blame him; I probably would've reacted far worse if I'd be approached by an oddly dressed stranger sauntering out of a place of death and despair. Since it looked like he was waiting for an explanation, I choose to oblige him.

"Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist voller Aale." I tried to convince him of my non-threatening ways as quickly as humanly possible.

It didn't really work.

His face shifted from guarded curiosity with a tinge of paranoia to something that said 'how many men do I need to solve this problem as soon as possible?'

I could swear that I heard Toots badly masking a chuckle as a cough.

"Du hast wunderbare Schenkel." I interjected, desperately trying to break that particular train of thought before it reached its destination.

I needed to diffuse the situation enough for me to find shelter for the night without being murdered by overzealous villagers. I was having a hard time ignoring the now-snickering pixie floating unnoticed by everyone who wasn't a poor, harmless wizard being scrutinized by people radiating an atmosphere that would be right at home in the Raith residence.

It didn't look like my impeccable German skills convinced the guard of my friendly nature. His body language showed a deterioration of his opinion to the rough equivalent of wondering where he kept his recently sharpened pitchforks. He look like he was wondering whether it was worth building a pyre, or if he could just try and throw me back in the raging inferno that had replaced large parts of the previously non-burning forest.

As he started to signal orders to his underlings, I decided to take one last shot, on the off-chance that at least some of _German 101 by Professor Toot-Toot_ would prove to be somewhat useful. Since I didn't rate those chances very high I also started to form a spell at the same time to be on the same time and noticed a slight flickering in the torches the lynch mob were carrying. There was a reason as to why there were relatively few very old wizards that didn't suffer from paranoia as only it was that trait, be it natural or learned, that enabled them to survive the more medieval periods of history where the torturing and burning of wizard was considered a national hobby by some. And who was I to question that technique?

"Lassen sie Ihren Unterwäsche fallen, Herr William…" I was about to say more when suddenly something clicked inside my head.

"Toot-Toot!" I roared, interrupting my veiling spell, "Did you just make me quote Monty _fucking_ Phyton? In German?!"

To improve my odds of survival, I decided to also shift to my wolf form to make a speedier escape. The tactic paid immediate dividends as a hunting spear crossed through the empty air which was, until recently, occupied by a certain unlucky wizard's torso and would have left a nasty bruise.

"That's what you get for ridiculing Lady Tinkerbelle!" Piped a voice, barely audible over the tumultuous crowd as I made my escape

The moment I was clear, I swore to use more precise wording the next time I asked Toot-Toot a language related question.

**OoOoO**

I used the last of daylight to locate a source of water. I made quick work of hunting a pair of rabbits which was pretty easy once you possessed the senses of a wolf and my innate ability to Listen. My backpack containing my rations and most of my wizard's toolkit was lost during the origami session which, in combination with an angrily rumbling stomach, forced me to cut my flight a bit short for my tastes. I wasn't that far away from the village, but I reasoned the inhabitants would probably be content with chasing away the scary monster. They'd probably be more worried more about making sure the village survived the night.

"Once again, I'm truly sorry about slandering your precious lady." I said, as I cleaned the rabbits with the Spear of Destiny next to the freshly started campfire with water boiling above it.

What can I say, I'm pragmatic, and the detachable spearhead made for a nice knife. I was fairly certain that He wouldn't mind.

"Lieutenant General Toot-Toot, I really need to be able to talk German to get out of this twisted caricature of a dimension and for that I need your help." I pleaded my case to the pouting fairy. "Besides, all things considered what we call pizza won't be around for another 200 years or so."

That got his attention, at least partially, so I pressed on while skewering the rabbits on pointed sticks and installing them on my impromptu fireside rig. "So please, sit down, have some rabbit and let us try to find a way out from the bizarre-world." I proposed as a peace offering, finally placating the fairy.

"Alright, Harry, you win. Just try to control that mouth of yours or suffer the consequences" Toot-Toot agreed, landing on my shoulder and joining me in watching the meat crackling away over the fire.

"No promises, you know me," I answered. "Controlling my mouth isn't something I see happening anytime soon. If deities and cosmic horrors don't do the trick, I can't see anything else doing it. Besides an angry Charity, that is."

Nobody messed with Charity, sparring partner of a Knight of the Cross, mother of seven, and assailant of Arctis Tor. The fetch found that out the hard way. There was a perfectly valid reason that my daughter was safe under her care.

"Well that all said, let us try and be a bit productive and see how well whatever Alice has done to the organic ballast in my skull that optimistic people might call a brain works."

"Just try to take it seriously, will you?" The newly promoted lieutenant general responded, realization on just how much a Sisyphean chore this would be slowly spreading across his face.

"Jawohl mein Führer!" I exclaimed, a lopsided grin plastered across my own face.

Toot-Toot sighed in expiration.

And so my first lecture in the German language began, in the final hour before true nightfall, near a campfire on a patch of dry dirt and enjoying some freshly caught and roasted game.

**OoOoO**

"What language still needs three genders and four cases with changing articles for each and every one of them? I thought that Latin should have taught people better." I exclaimed, frustration rife in my voice.

The last hour hadn't been going that well, to be honest, other than for of the salamanders who received the leftovers of our meal. Yes, I now knew phrases of which Toot-Toot swore were actually useful in appearing normal and non-threatening. He even commented that my pronunciation wasn't all that terrible, which should be counted as a victory for such a pure blooded American as I. Our normal way of doing things is simply talk English to non-speakers but more slowly and much louder, in the grand delusion that that somehow makes the difference in being understandable.

At least Toot-Toot was enjoying himself. He had once again summoned his comically large whiteboard out of the depth of whatever special hell it came from, and this time his own armor had been somehow changed to look like the clothes the archetypical teacher of ye olden times he was busy emulating right now. And yes, that did include a wooden cane and he wasn't afraid of using.

"Ouch! Toots, do you really have to do that?" I said, reacting to the fourth strike I had received that hour. "Most people would show much more caution to the Winter Knight, destroyer of the Red Court and slayer of Fairy queens…"

"And all-around badass that had to be rescued from a Pixie who attacked him with needles the size of toothpicks. By yours truly." Supplied Toot-Toot, cutting my rant of epic proportions short by a considerable amount. "You do know that I know you well enough to spot an empty threat, don't you, boss? Besides you wanted to learn, and it won't work if you stand around gaping like a fish out of the water as soon as the conversation moves past greetings. Also you were once again slacking off."

I was sure he was going to say more. I saw him taking a breath, but it was cut short by the arrival of true night. Oh, and there was also the suddenly appearance of a horde of monsters.

I knew I was forgetting something.

Dozens of skeletons rose of the previously untouched ground, an ember glow lighting up the still nearby forest turned out to be fiery imps and the sky filled with big bat-like creatures. Every one of them was looking at me with hungry madness, and as if on command they cried out in a single-minded hunger and began to charge my position.

"Stars and stones, it's really has been this kind of day, hasn't it?" I muttered standing up and gathering energy.

"_Murus maximus_!"

I stabbed the ground with my staff, connecting me to the golems, the earth elementals, thus making this particular piece of earth magic a whole lot easier.

A 10 foot circular wall of solid stone rose up all around me in the flickering multi-colored light of the campfire, hindering the advance of the hordes of evil. Using the newly erected walls as a base I invested a bit of my will to form a magic circle, isolating my magic from that of the rest of the world.

Normally, I'd be content with simply sitting it out inside the circle, as it was impermeable to the supernatural side of town, I had no idea that this reality also abided by those rules.

Besides, knowing my luck, they'd somehow find out that rocks would fly through the circle unhindered.

The crashing sound from high above announced that magic circles did indeed worked as intended here as one of the bat-creatures face planted into it with a shower a pretty sparkles.

"Well, looks that at magic circles are one less thing I have to file a complaint for when I invariably meet the creatures of this parallel dimension." I said to Toot-Toot.

In all, it had been a productive night all.

I would be able to not get killed in the first couple of seconds the next time I was near civilization, thanks to the power of German stock phrases, and I now knew that magic circles worked. I also knew what effect my aura had on my immediate surroundings. The taste of the day was apparently the old making candles flicker in weird colors, which would be a problem since it looked like there's a lot of them in this time period and, if the flickering was any indication the size of natural flames I was able to effect was proportional to my magical output.

Another crash overhead pulled me out of my musings. I noticed a steady banging against the walls had begun. Occasionally, a flame imp jumping high enough to crash into the spectral wall of the magic circle instead of the stone wall proper. It was another difference with home. The monsters over here were seemed possessed by a mindless, ferocious hunger to devour and destroy. Sure, I there were some monsters that weren't the sharpest tools in the shed on earth, but almost every one of them could be reasoned with, at least in some capacity

And every one of them could be taught respect and fear.

I had the feeling that these guys wouldn't respond to that. Hell's bells, a couple of hours ago I annihilated an entire nest of those troll and ogre subspecies, set the forest on fire, and killed plenty more nasties the way out. It simply didn't seem to matter to my would-be killers.

"I sure wouldn't mind if the testing made less noise." I said to Toot-Toot, while I turned to face him, wondering about why he has been so quiet up until now.

The Pixie looked distressed, nervously looking around. Sweat trickled from his was while he was starting to hyperventilate and started to move around banging his head to the inside of the magic circle like an insect desperately trying to find a way out of your home. By now the wind had picked up as well and I was able to see the Sylph elementals performing the same frantic dance Toot-Toot displayed.

Luckily, I never had to agonize over whether I should take the break the circle to calm my dear friend Toots, but leaving me to fend for myself against hordes of enemies. A boulder of a size that should incapable of flight smashed through the solid stone wall I erected precisely to defend myself against such antics, barely missing me. I wasn't as lucky with the wreckage that followed as I was pelted by fist sized rocks, covering me in nasty bruises.

With a sigh of relief from within my perimeter and a roar of relief from outside, the magic circle shattered and the hosts leapt in to introduce themselves.

I plunged into Winter and, instead of starting my standard energy juggling shtick, I decided to try something new. Reaching out to the recently freed Sylphs I gave a simple mental suggestion to them to feed on the heat of my surroundings, which happened to include the many adversaries I had to face tonight.

"_Infringa!_" I shouted, spurring the elementals to action with a surge of Winter energy.

The Sylphs rode my wave of cold, forming into an arctic gale in a matter of moments and ripping the warmth out of the fleshy monsters around me and freezing the skeletons in place, increasing their speed until bones were flying through the air, ripped apart by the storm wind alone.

The resulting quiet was only interrupted by the shattering of frozen bats forgetting the first rule of flying.

A great cracking of ice announced the beginning of round two as a one-armed twenty foot demon consisting entirely out of fangs, claws and rock broke the encasing of ice as if it wasn't there. Many of the outer flame imps, out where the Sylph were either to fast or to spread out to fully freeze them, began to thaw and stir, ready for revenge.

Diving deeper in winter I stormed towards the rock demon, eagerly meeting the beast's unspoken challenge. Where the ogres were still figuring out the impromptu field of ice and the skeletons didn't stand a chance of moving all, I was at home, knowing exactly where to put my feet, compensating for any loss of traction with ease. Too bad mister tall-and-ugly was unhindered as well by the virtue of his giant mass simply splintering the ice underfoot.

When we met it, was almost over for me as soon as it began as the demon suddenly performed a lightning quick sweep with his spike-covered tail. I survived thanks to Winter's instincts and a quick discharge of one of my force rings, deflecting the deadly blow. I anticipated his follow-up, a backhand with his one arm, and brought my shield up in time to be launched by the sheer force of the blow.

Releasing my shield, I landed in a roll (Parkour!) and ran back to my opponent. It was on.

"_Fuego!_" A small burst of flames sublimated the ice in front of his ugly face, and the resulting fog blocked his view.

I shifted into my wolf form to make a sharp turn to his armless side just outside of his reach, making him swipe at the empty air as I reached his flank. Shifting back, I readied my spear to pierce his armpit, a weak point of any decent humanoid monster, with all my might.

I struck.

The resulting numbness in my hands and the ringing sound of Longinus hitting solid stone confirmed my previous assessment, this being was a rock hard though guy.

"_Forzare!" _Not wanting to be at the receiving end of either claws or spikey tail I launched myself away from danger, knocking the rock demon back. I landed in a three point crouch any action hero would be proud of, while the stone giant impacted with a small earthquake.

Unfortunately, one of flame imps decided he didn't value my artistic performance and bit into the shin of the leg that was poking out of my enchanted duster. Enraged by the sudden pain, I dropped my staff to rip the little demon asunder.

Ice coated my hands, forming icy claws over my fingers. After quickly eviscerating the demon and flash freezing the wound, I saw something silver flash past my face and a gurgling sound just behind me.

Toot-Toot had once more saved my hide. His time, he had dissected a second flame imp that had gone for the sneaky route and attacked me from behind while I was crouched to tend to my wound.

"I know you're annoyed and all, but do you really want to let yourself be killed by a lowly imp?" The pixie deadpanned, with a tiny hint of bloodlust lining his voice.

"I'll keep the small fry away from you." Toot said. "I need to vent a bit after what happened in the circle but I do expect you to continue the lesson with conjugating 'hassen' ." He said, wearing a facial expression to make Leonidas proud as he whizzed off to wreak aerial havoc amongst the surviving and newly arrived mooks.

By the time I retrieved the Spear of Destiny and once again faced down the now somewhat weary Thing, I decided to try something new.

"Fuego!"

For the second time this battle I used my favorite element, but this time instead of the humble stream of fire from earlier, a thumb thick bar of liquid fire shot out of the spear hitting the demon squarely in the face.

I didn't expect much to happen, but sadly Ben Grimm over there had to confirm just that. The Thing roared in pain and frustration, his stone face beginning to glow an attractive bright red as he began to charge towards me.

"Harry, I can't hear you!" Toot-Toot chimed from the other side of the battle field.

"Ich hasse." I began, concentrating on the oncoming juggernaut.

The Thing arrived and wasted no time in beginning a rake with his massive arms.

"Du hasst."

Winter and I had had enough. We were tired and annoyed. Side-stepping the vicious downward blow, I slammed the end of my staff into his knee with all my might, hitting him squarely with the silver butt cap. Much to my surprise, a splintering sound filled the air, and I readied my shield in an angled plane.

"Er hasst."

The expected tail swipe harmlessly slid off my shield, knocking the demon off balance. The shattered knee and redirected momentum prevented him from stopping his rotation, exposing the shoulder of his good arm. Another forceful strike crushed the intricate joint.

"Wir hassen."

The demon, now lying on his back, looked at me with an anger so absolute it would have cowered even me not so long ago. I stabbed the closest eye out with Longinus, eliciting a fierce roar from the severely wounded monster.

"Ihr hasst."

I jumped backwards to dodge a clumsy kick from his remaining good leg.

I landed near the stream I found earlier and used to hydrate myself and saw that the damn demon was struggling to get up once more. I had to find some way to permanently deal with him.

I decided to try something potentially stupid.

Standing near the edge of the water I started to gather my will, seeking for Sylphs and nearby Undines. As the Thing actually managed to get back on his feet, my vision filled with tiny ethereal fish and insects. A ball of water from the stream gathered around the Spear of Destiny as rime formed all around me. The Thing was half running, half hopping toward me, but it was entirely filled with unholy fury closing and closing in to me, planning to use his sheer mass to reduce me to a stain on the bank.

"Sie hassen."

The demon was now thirty feet removed from showing what I looked like after being hit by a train.

I infused a tiny bit of Soulfire into the prepared spell.

"_Scatebra aqua_!" I exclaimed, pointing my spear at the onrushing demon. The gathered elementals rushed forward at a mind shattering speed, taking the water with them. Bracing myself, I dragged the resulting jet of highly concentrated water across the Thing. The effect was instantaneous.

He slowed down as the jet traveled over and through his body. This lasted just until two halves slid to a full stop right in front of my feet.

"Ich hasste." I finally concluded with the past tense of hate, slowly unclenching my fists that were still clutching the staff. I noticed that I had pushed myself back a couple of feet and was now standing on the recently frozen river.

"Hey Toots, are you finished yet? Mr. Ugly over here is done clobbering." I shouted towards my brave rear guard.

"Finishing up myself, boss. Care to help me out?" Toots responded.

So I went over there and we finished off the last stragglers.

After a few more German lessons, we decided that Toot-Toot would stand guard until morning and catch some sleep during the day in a pocket of my duster. I nestled against a tree and slept until the next morning.

**Don't worry the German will fade into the background as Harry improves his knowledge. Why German I hear you ask. A common theory is that Berserk is set in Denmark around 1650 or at least a parallel world approximation thereof. German spoken by large parts of the population those days according to my research and the Last major change of the German language also finished around that time. I know German myself so that was that.**

**Also while writing I noticed that some of the monsters of Peter V. Brett's Demon Cycle (do read those books if you haven't already) sneaked into my head and refused to leave. Expect more cameos from other settings. Just imagine them having been abducted to Midland as the World Transformation happened as well.**

**Finally reviews are highly appreciated, even needed for the continuing improvement of this fic.**


	3. Chapter 3

****Disclaimer****: I do not own the Dresden Files nor Berserk. Basically if you recognize it, it doesn't belong to me.****

**Once again huge thanks to Heir of the Void for editing this chapter and putting up with my antics.**

**I think now would be the best time to address concerns regarding the continuation of this story and the update speed. The thing is that this project was started because the idea didn't leave me alone coupled with the desire to improve my English skills. For me this means that as a non-native speaker I need more conscious thought while writing and thus more time. Also editing and me going over the edits for the sake of improvement takes its time as well leading to even longer gaps between the chapters. On top of that I tend to wait for feedback from either you, my readers, or the Heir of the Void before starting/continuing the chapter which leads to... Well I think you get the idea by now. I wouldn't hold your breath for multiple chapters per month outside but I'll do my best to achieve at least that. Finally have no fear about me dropping this story anytime soon. I pretty much noticed right away that I truly liked writing and I'd like to see where this story goes myself.**

**That out of the way let's answer some questions and remarks. Even though that Dresden meeting the witches at the Mansion of the Spirit Tree would have been interesting there was one important thing that lead me to set the story post World Transformation. Harry simply opening portals and going to unknown places, be it out of curiosity or in pursuit, is too much OOC for my personal taste. The World Transformation provided a good enough excuse to start tormenting him while circumventing my personal pet peeve.**

**As to him meeting the Berserk cast. Yes he will meet them later on but most of them are on a boat which makes ****a meet up**** a bit problematic at the moment. I do plan for some update snippets regarding them in the nearish future.**

**I hope you enjoy reading this chapter.**

Toot-Toot's casual disregard of causality started to scare me. Sure, in my fatigue induced near-delirium I did suggest he could nap in my duster's pocket. That didn't mean a 19 inch pixie in armor should actually be able to comfortably snuggle in said pocket the way he did. Considering his sudden passion for visual gags and his newly found pocket dimension, I worried about how far bizarro-world's corruption went.

I was once again moving towards the source of magic I sensed yesterday. Sadly I had to reevaluate as it became clear that said source was of the faraway but massive variety, as opposed to the small and close variety I had initially assumed it to be.

I should've had a small limp in my step thanks to the philistine flame imp of yesterday. However, the Winter Mantle numbed the pain with its human juggernaut shtick to the point of non-existence, but that simply meant that it was another thing I had to consciously remind myself of. Even though I had flash frozen the wound to sterilize it immediately after detaching the Imp, the wound had turned an unattractive shade of red. I was really hoping that the combination of my wizardly immunity and the Winter Mantle would stave off further infection, since I didn't like the prospect of having one in an age without antibiotics.

The sight of another village, this one without any forest close by, tore me out of my worries. The sun wasn't fully up yet, so I decided to clean myself, do some maintenance and find myself some food. There was no way in hell I'd get anywhere civilization while there were still potential candles burning. Being chased by an angry mob gets old real quick.

OoOoO

Half an hour after I felt sunrise wash over me, I made my way towards the village. Toot-Toot was still happily napping inside my pocket and I was mentally going over the German phrases I'd probably need in the oncoming confrontation.

As I quickly learned as a P.I., you can get pretty much everywhere as long as you looked like you were absolutely sure that, yes, you did have every right to be there. A sprinkling of haste, annoyance or putting on of airs only helped in that regard.

So here I was, slipping in the role of an annoyed and tired wanderer seeking shelter and walking through an area that could be called the entrance without any more than slightly suspicious glances. Of course it helped that the persona I acted as was very close to the truth; the only thing I really had to do was stop worrying about them finding out I was a wizard.

There was also the fact that my personal background wasn't a dramatic forest fire.

That probably did something to make me seem more suspicious yesterday. The only things that were hampering this attempt right now were my height, my lack of armor, and my unusual clothing.

Hopefully, as long as I kept the talking to the absolute minimum I would do just fine.

And maybe, if I really believed it, I could make piles of local currency appear out of thin air.

The first warning bell should have gone off when the self-designated spokesperson of the settlement started slowly but surely leading me toward what looked like a nearby farm while we exchanged reserved small talk.

Actually, that was probably not the most accurate description of the, for the lack of better words, conversation. The big man accompanying me was actually talking while I tried my best to match the sentences I learned in the crash course with what was being said. I felt I was doing a fairly decent job at it since I only received few confused glances.

I should have noticed that the big man was looking around in what might be called a nervous matter. I still hoped that that could be attributed to the healthy paranoia needed to survive in this world, but that was shattered by a cry from the farm.

"Da ist er! Fasst den Hexer!" The guard from yesterday shouted in a commanding voice.

From the looks of it I was still very much in easy reach of the place of my previous misadventures.

He looked like he was just feeding and grooming his still sweaty horse.

It also it looked like me and my guide weren't as alone on our little stroll as I thought.

A sizable crowd had already formed a semicircle behind my back. I couldn't understand any of the tumultuous chatter issuing from the crowd other than repeated repetitions of the word 'Milch', which I was pretty sure referred to milk.

What I had to make of it was another thing entirely.

One depressing advantage of being me was that I was used to situations far, far, worse than a still indecisive mob, especially after having done this dance already not that many hours before. Looking around for the best escape route I felt something stir in the pocket of my duster.

"What's with the noise? Someone's trying to sleep here!" Toot-Toot exclaimed, annoyed.

He was now peaking, blearily-eyed, over the edge of his impromptu bed. The sudden sight of him elicited a couple of surprised gasp of the younger members of the mob, while most of them remained as oblivious as before. I also noticed he was cradling the weird stone I found yesterday.

"Uhm, what have you done this time, my liege?" the lieutenant general asked. "And why are they talking about curdled milk?"

"To answer the first question, I've met our friend from yesterday." I whispered in return. "As for the second question, I'm really hoping you got that one wrong, because the implications would be unfair even for my standards"

The gathered crowd was still growing and I noticed that a couple of them had taken the time to light candles, which were flickering in a Technicolor fashion. Hell's Bells, if Toot-Toot was right I had to worry about my aura doing the clichéd curdling milk thing on top of the messing around with flames. At least it wasn't…

No. Let's not even go there and give this world more inspiration about how to mess up my life even more.

Before I could delve further into the self-centered global conspiracy theories, the mob had reached its critical mass and went to action.

"Fuego!" I bellowed. A very impatient Winter had taken over control and incinerated a spear mid-flight, hitting a straw roof further back with burning slack and setting it on fire.

I used the distraction the sudden bonfire provided to shift into a wolf while struggling with the now murderous Winter Mantel, which demanded blood of lowly, insolent creatures that dared to be in our way.

I was somehow able to convince it that we weren't running but instead advancing towards future victory against more worthy opponents.

I jumped onto the crowd, using the heads of the gathered people as jumping boards and get out of this depressingly familiar scenario. The shift preformed as intended, and I was able to escape the dumbfounded crowd with Toot-Toot, now mischievous giggling and spouting nonsense, riding on my back. I could have sworn I saw a lock of long, bright orange hair as I landed.

Running towards the edge of the village, approximately in the direction of the concentrated magic I've felt for as long as I'd been here, I encountered the last of the guards standing in between me and possible freedom.

With arrows and spears landing all around me and the guards taking a serious stance, Parkour wasn't really an option as my feet, now proportionally larger than before and not enjoying the protection of any defensive enchantments, would have been at risk.

"Rugh ra re!" I barked, mangling my own force spell almost beyond recognition.

Opposed to what many believe the actual language of spells isn't really important. Sure, I mostly use dog Latin or what might pass as Spanish for my spells, but my former apprentice, Molly used pseudo-Japanese to achieve the same effects. In short it didn't matter as much, the only important part was that the user shouldn't be that familiar with the language they employed, so as to avoid unfortunate incidents. It didn't even had to be a real tongue for the insulating effects to happen, as I have proven with mindless litanies a couple of times already.

The main component of any spell is conviction, and at the moment of the spell I very much wanted those guards to be out of the way.

The resulting wall of force hit the unlucky guards with the force of couple of angry NFL linebackers launching them out of my way under a joyful whoop of my rider.

Of course I could not do anything complicated while in wolf form as most of my mind was busy governing the connection between mind and body. I wouldn't be able to fire beams of liquid flames out of my mouth anytime soon due to the tight control said flames required but a diffuse force spell was well in the realms of possibilities.

With that last display of power I was back on the field, outpacing my pursuers who were still on foot and really hoping that third time would be the charm.

OoOoO

Say what you will about the inhabitants of this world but, they learn fast. Soon after I thought myself safe and sound, confident that I had left my pursuers to bite the dust, I heard numerous horses closing in to my position. I was thusly forced to resume my flight post haste with added trickery, which was difficult with the sparse vegetation.

It started with me shifting back into human form to shape an illusion spell under the sudden shouts of my pursuers

"Lumen, camerus, factum." Suddenly, four tall wizards were running for their lives in opposite directions eliciting more cries from the ever closing in riders.

Sure, I'd like the wolf form to get away from situation that go south like this. However the spell required me to concentrate too much and even then the Illusions I created were slightly see-through. Any normal human would be hard pressed to get away from enemies on horsebacks, seemingly making my chances dim indeed. I wasn't any normal human though, as Winter enabled me to push my body to its utmost limits and beyond. It suppressed pains that weren't life-threatening and some that were, it removed the limiters everyone had to avoid self-inflicted injuries.

This in combinations with my wizards healing factor meant that I could still train beyond the point where even the most tyrannical coach would have shown mercy and do so easily. During my exile on Demonreach I did parkour every day until I was tired. The speed I was able to reach would have forced me to donate gallons of urine to the authorities if I'd ever enter a competition. Combine that with my stamina, and I had to fear autopsy tables in area 51.

My point being, I knew how to run. And boy did I run, picking every stream, every obstacle in my way to aid my escape. After five minutes of mad dashing and a trio of horse unfriendly ditches I canceled the taxing illusionary constructs.

"Obscurata." Hiding behind nearby bushes I veiled myself in the hope that the crappy quality would be compensated for by my chlorofriend.

Also known as 'the random bush I was hiding behind' by those lacking the necessary education.

The sound of horses systematically closing in to my position destroyed the hope I still nursed of cleanly getting away. Less than two minutes had passed since I canceled my constructs and veiled myself.

In short they had a way to track me, and I was starting to get a clue as to what it was

"Toot-Toot, I need you to be my translator. If there's still any chance at all that I'm able to resolve this without bloodshed, I'm taking it." I whispered to the fairy as I stood up.

I was greeted by the sight of 5 horseman, four of them carrying a lantern with different sized candles and the last, the guard from the first village, a lit torch. He was deliberately moving the torch back and forth, carefully observing the change in freakiness.

I had been tracked by a fucking game of hot and cold.

Ambush them, kill them before they even get a clue what happened to them. Show them what it means when prey messes with the predator. Hamstring the clever one and slowly kill his comrades in front of his eyes. Leave him here, bleeding, and go back to take our prize. There were plenty of women in the right age for the taking with only little resistance.

With an enormous effort of will, I was able to push back Winter's consciousness, shattering the veil and making the torch flare with white flames and causing cracks in the glass plating of the lanterns.

Sturnn looked surprised for only a moment before rage and sorrow filled his eyes and he began shouting.

"Toot, a translation would be really helpful now. This is way beyond the covered course material." I urged my companion. "A summary would also be fine as long as I know what I'm dealing with here."

"Basically he accuses you of being an abomination in the eyes of what he calls 'the White Hawk'. Also, he says you're in league with the demons who killed his family and holds you responsible for the human sacrifices the village had to make." The lieutenant general relayed with increasingly troubled expression.

"Now he's saying that his comrades have gone through the same and that they seek retribution. We should really be going, boss." Toot-Toot continued "He told you just now that his name is Ignatz and that you should prepare to die."

The unexpected reference distracted me long enough to lower my guard just a bit.

The rider nearest to me saw it as an invitation to attack. The short lapse in concentration was plenty for Winter to come surging back to the forefront of my consciousness.

A small step to dodge the sloppy sword strike and a great stab to the armpit which severed the arm from the body later hell broke loose once again.

Simply wounding them will only let them die a slower, crueler death.

"Forzare!" I yelled, knocking the second rider from his horse while blocking a strike from the third one with my spear.

Sleeping spells would be a death sentence with the local fauna. You wouldn't want to be tainted even more, would you?

With a quick twisting motion, I stabbed that adversary in the leg, slicing through bone with Winter induced ease. The former guard fell to the ground with a sickening crunch, his leg dangling on a thin strip of tissue and skin.

The only warning I got before the dismounted Ignatz struck from behind was the sudden rush of air he exhaled while trying to cut me down. I interposed my left arm as to block the cut. The enchantments on my duster holding true, I proceeded to grab the blade, my hand coated in ice, and stabbed the horrified looking guard through the heart.

Pulling the spear out of the unfortunate guard, I used the butt end to cave in the eye socket of the victim of my force spell. With a wet popping sound and dry crack his fate was sealed as well.

The sound of a galloping horse reminded me of the last rider.

If he gets away, who knows how many he'll bring next time.

Thanks to the instructions of the Einherjar and personal experience I knew that it was foolish to try to only incapacitate enemies during mortal combat. However, I would not kill a fleeing enemy.

He'll teach his knowledge about how to track you to other fanatics and return in force after what he's seen. How do you plan to return with that opposing you?

I can mask my aura, I'll be too far away for him to find me again.

Do you want to risk it? What will you do during the night? What would happen when your Hero instincts kick in when your look is known to the world?

I'll deal with it. I will not kill a defenseless, fleeing kid.

What about Maggie? Will she be able to cope with losing her father for a second time?

I shifted into my wolf form and started pursuing my would-be killer. I caught up shortly after and a jump, a bite and a broken neck later another lifeless body hit the floor.

Returning to the sight of the battle I saw the previously wounded and forgotten men. The two guards I wounded earlier had gone into shock and judging to the amount of blood, and had bled out a short while ago.

"Boss, you know you did not have much choice." Toot-Toot began, trying to give a bit of solace.

"I know that." I replied, inviting him to sit on my shoulder "Now if only, I could actually convince myself…"

Shaking my head, I set course once again to the elusive place of concentrated magic and started walking with Toot on my shoulder.

OoOoO

After the adrenaline subsided and Winter went back to sleep in the darker parts of my mind, guilt and self-doubt remained.

It was the time that Toot-Toot reminded me why I needed friends I trusted. It's a lesson I needed to be reminded off time and time again.

When I started to lose myself in the blame game he resumed his role as a flying teacher and started distracting me with adorable sincerity. Of course I would never admit the last part to him.

Besides providing a much needed distraction, I knew that passing German for dummies by Professor Toot-Toot would lower the chances of a repeat of last time.

So it was hours later that I was able to laugh again at Toot-Toot's thinning patience, caused by my peerless wit, and general antics for which I blamed the world. The main thing that dampened my mood a bit was that his frequent cane strikes somehow started to hurt. I swear that's more than most of the baddies I fought managed to do since I've taken up the role as Winter Knight.

I also knew that he'd be there for me tomorrow morning when the youth I had been forced to kill came back to haunt my sleep with his buddies.

"There's a small town ahead along the edge of another forest, my liege." The pixie reported, returning from a bit of scouting and bringing me back to the present. We had decided that it would be best for us to know what was up ahead so I'd be able to get my suppression spell up and running in time in the case of flames and dairy products.

It wasn't like Toot-Toot volunteered just to escape because I still mangled the pronunciation while practicing in ways that broke the Geneva Conventions.

"Well done, lieutenant-general. I think it would be best if we head for it then." I replied, calming my mind in preparation of the suppression spell.

The forest in combination with the sun hanging low on the horizon would facilitate my escape when things went south.

See? Even I'm able to learn.

I really started to feel like this part of the universe truly hated my guts, so I thought preparing for an inevitable advance to future victory might be for the best. On top of preparing for the unavoidable, I was also suppressing any thought which could be used as an inspiration for the beings that governed these lands.

"At least try to avoid setting things on fire this time, Harry. It tends to build a certain amount of trust." Toot-Toot supplied in a tone which would have made Alan Rickman proud. His hair appeared to have shifted to a greasy black and his nose had grown a bit to reinforce the mental image.

Yesterday I would have been worried. Now I was only wondering whether I would suddenly find myself in dressed in red, gold and black while sporting a pointy head.

"It's not my fault they build everything out of flammable materials. You might even say I'm doing them a service by pointing out obvious safety hazards." I said simply radiating innocence and sincerity.

"Right, how stupid of me."

With that last grand show of confidence I adjusted my path to a collision course with civilization.

OoOoO

The village was much of the same as the last ones. Many wooden and clay structures with straw roofs. A wooden structure which was properly a church looming over the other buildings, a tavern with stables on the main road through the village and chimney of the local smithy in plain sight.

It reminded me of the mental images Billy conjured up on game night to the point of having to suppress the urge to use my barbarian's battle cry, 'enough talking!'

"Halt. State your business!" the guard demanded when I approached the village under his watchful gaze.

This was the main point of differences to the somewhat idyllic fantasy world our GM created. Instead of somewhat poor but friendly locals these people had a haunted quality to them. Cautious to the point of paranoia, clear signs of hunger on the faces of the people and weathered weapons formed an image of a people that were on the brink of giving up.

From what I've seen of this world I didn't really blame them. I only hoped that I didn't have to deal with people that sacrificed children to save their own sorry asses. I don't know what would happen then.

"I am zimple mercenary looking vor job." I answered hoping the simple lie would be believable enough.

To make persecuting me a bit more challenging we decided to smear my face with dirt, let my messy hair hang over it and also to make myself as small as possible without generating suspicion. Too bad I couldn't do too much about my particular clothing.

"Haha!" the man laughed, easing a bit of my tension. "That would explain the spear and your lack of company. Too bad you missed the great army of the White Hawk. They're finally obliterating the Kushan scourge from Midland." He added throwing around unfamiliar terms like they went out of style.

"Oh" I said sheepishly while rubbing my left calve with my right food.

It had to be said that Alice was an absolute miracle worker. Whatever she had done inside my noggin had enabled me to, with the help with ze Herrn Toot-Toot, to learn German to the point I was able to participate in simple conversations in less than two days. Sure the accent was atrocious and the grammar was worse still, but it did the job for now. The rest could be covered by miming the dumb brute everyone assumed me to be anyways. Playing dumb would also help dealing when confronted with stuff I didn't know as it was the case now.

"Not to worry you might be able to catch up before the cleansing begins. A lone person should be able to move much faster than a whole fucking army does." The guard continued, apparently invigorated with the thought of getting rid of those 'Kushans'.

"Speaking of which, why aren't you with a band of mercenaries?" He added, his well-practiced paranoia breaking the surface of his conscious.

"Zhey payed bad. I left." I supplied placating him once more.

I was considering if it would be overkill to fit in 'hodor' to reinforce my simple nature, when he stretched out his hand with a clear intend to be shaken.

"I'm Hans. My shift is about to end, so I could show you around. I can even tell you about the White Hawk. I've seen him in person and let me tell you he truly is the savior we all dreamed off." He added to the gesture looking like a disciple trying convert a stranger to his newly found Fate.

"Harry" I returned, grabbing his hand for a manly shake.

I might have said more but I had the bad luck of meeting a very civilized individual who had removed his glove before offering it.

As the skin of our hands touched I felt a tiny shock.

When practitioners make skin contact and thus come into direct contact with each other's aura we're able to feel their magical potential in form a shock proportional to said potential.

It appeared that he only had a very minor talent, barely noticeable.

I however conservatively ranked myself amongst the top 40 wizards back on earth in terms of raw power. And that was years ago without the Winter Mantle added.

Poor Hans dropped to the floor like a victim of a mean spirited Taser attack to the balls under the alarmed gasped of the gathered crowd.

I decided to risk my - lacking a better word –sanity and opened my Sight and Saw.

The Third Eye, True Sight, however you want to call it, it enabled skilled practitioners to See the world unfiltered and in such a profound way that made it literally unforgettable. With the Sight you could See things so beautiful it made everything else utterly disappointing or they would show you image of eldritch structures so horrible that a rough approximation could fray the sanity of anyone.

Those Sights stayed with you until the day you died, never fading, never losing their edge. I once Saw a Skinwalker from a distance and I am haunted by that particular vision to this very day. And those creatures are in the minimum security part of my shop of little horrors.

Wizards with enough common sense, thusly avoided using it too much.

The air practically turned opaque by the sheer density of sylphs, the earth writhed in with a steady rhythm of moving golems. I was somehow surrounded by lazily moving salamanders which tended to accumulate on flammable surfaces which disturbingly also included the people gathered.

After I was able to orientate myself once again I Saw the people and was shocked once more. Each and every one of the people gathered in the crowd had the aura of a small talent. The ones of the youths were a bit stronger than those of the elderly which was a sign of neglecting their given talent but every one of them seeping magic into the environment.

Another thing they all had in common was that no matter what, their spiritual self was scarred beyond believe. Some of the more haunted ones still displaying open wounds, maggots wriggling in and out of the flesh and creating an undulating mass. Others had chunks ripped out of their spiritual representation with putrid festering edges and infection spreading to healthy flesh. Most of them covered their metaphysical eyes with their hands, whereas some appeared to have ripped them out themselves, leaving black bloody holes where they were supposed to be.

Hans was one of the latter and he looked like he was feeding them to a nightmarish caricature of a white hawk. Said hawk looked at me with malice filled eyes with a bloody optical nerve still dangling from its beak.

The last thing I Saw before I forcefully shut my Sight was another common feature of the people gathered. Everyone had a choker around their necks, each fitted with three chains. One of them led straight into the earth, one of them reached into the heavens and the last one pointing in the direction of the magical hotspot I was heading to.

I started to back away when I opened my Third Eye, and I was still going strong in that regard. From the increasingly hostile looks on the faces of the villagers, I had to feeling that I would have to pull my vanishing act for a third time in three days, especially since I had every reason to believe that I had caused some milk to curdle during my short Sightseeing tour.

"Harry, this would be the right time to vamos." Toot-Toot said, agreeing with my initial assessment.

So once again I ran.

Luckily my mind was too much in turmoil over what I've Seen for Winter to establish its dominance. The villagers too were apparently too shocked about what happened to respond properly as they only started shouting when I was halfway to the forest.

I'd guess that it was only when I actually entered the forest that the first pursuers had started moving, but I didn't waited to confirm that.

Barreling through bushes, jumping over fallen trees and scratching my faces at low hanging branches I reached old, sturdy trees. Growing claws of ice and using my spear as an anchor I climbed the biggest one.

"Parkour!" I shouted jumping from branch to branch, from tree to tree, gathering more and more sylphs around me as I went.

As a reaction to my vocal reflexes I heard a shout from far behind. It was the reason I went for the canopy. I knew that I left a big a trail as a monster truck through a china store.

I knew I had to play one hell of a game of 'The Floor Is Lava' to get away cleanly in the very last light of the day. Of course, I saw a rapidly approaching patch of Dresden-incompatible trees shortly after realizing that.

Frantically thinking about what to do now I noticed the veritable swarm of Sylph I managed to attract during the flight added to my suddenly normalized aura.

Practically overwhelmed by their gentle, playful aura my mind came up with an incredibly stupid idea. So if nothing else, I at least now knew that 'Midland' didn't affect my mind much.

"I'm a leaf on the wind." I murmured nervously, forming a spell in my mind and reaching out to as many Sylphs as possible. "Watch how I soar!"

"Ventas servitas!"

And I took flight, very literally this time, with Toot-Toot whooping out of shear happiness besides me.

OoOoO

I tried to fly once. It was an attempt to make a flying broomstick and I barely avoided multiple broken bones and nearly killing myself. You see, controlled flight is simple in theory, but very difficult to

manage in practice, as you have to keep tracks of an ungodly number of parameters and forces. As a result few wizards try and far fewer succeed, with me being part of the lucky side of that statistics.

Here, however, I had the anthropomorphic representation of the element of air on my side. So my spell wasn't so much an actual spell and more a desperate, magically infused plea for help.

Specifically, I metaphysically asked the sylphs to bring me to a "safety" along the way towards the magical conglomeration which I was determined to reach now.

For the last minute it had worked out splendidly and I actually started enjoying this mode of transport, trying out different flying poses.

As I started to dip downward and home onto a meadow with a blackened structure in the middle I noticed a problem with my preferred Iron Man pose (holding arms outstretched in front of you was tiring). I was now hurtling towards the earth with breakneck speed face first guided by nearly massless beings. I started to suspect that said massless beings didn't have much of the same concerns regarding momentum as I did.

Straining, I managed to grasp my Staff with both hands and tuck myself into a ball around it.

"Forzare!" I shouted at the rapidly approaching ground, trying to decelerate my descent.

Tucking in even tighter I formed an elastic, spherical shield around me. The first impact rattled my teeth and bounced me twenty feet high.

The second bounce was only ten feet high, so I decided to cancel my uncomfortably hot shield and perform a stretched summersault and land on my feet. The plan was to roll was vetoed by the root tangling the foot of my already injured leg. The resulting flop sprained the ankle of the traitorous leg and left plenty of bruises over my arms with which I protected my head.

"You know what they say. The flying isn't the hard part, the landing however..." Toot-Toot commented on my feeble attempts at just that while lazily backstroking midair around my head. "But looking at the bright side, you're still alive, which is the first step towards improvement"

"Yeah I know, Gravity is a bitch. Also I think I'll pass on repeating this if possible." I responded, eliciting unsavory remarks from the Dewdrop Fairy.

They however were drowned out by a furious roar from a big, azure bear fifteen feet away from my impact crater. The thing had muscle to spear and it appeared that he had boney protrusions coming out of it underarms. Also it started to charge me.

Pulling out my trusty gun, I put 4 rounds in his head causing the lifeless body to do a less stylish impersonation of my own acrobatics earlier.

Big mean bear: 0

.50 caliber revolver: 1

Turning towards the bear's final resting place I was struck speechless as I was finally truly confronted by a scene straight out of Tolkien's works.

The meadow simply radiated the welcoming calm I've learned to associate with Golems. The meadow was covered in lush grass, covered with large constructs resembling the elemental golems, and the air was filled with fireflies. In the center of said meadow was a giant tree with an idyllic mansion grown into right into the branches. I was certain that no Elf could have done a better job of growing something like it.

It was all the more a pity that the meadow also appeared to have been attacked by Orcs. Even though the proportions and magnificence of the tree and mansion was still visible, much of it was only by their charred, skeletal remains. Many of the golems were smashed and everywhere I looked there were signs of battle.

In spite of all that the place still managed to beckon with a protective calmness.

"Toots how do you feel about bear meat?" I asked, having concluded that this place would do as well as, if not better than the potential alternatives.

"It isn't that good, to be honest. A bit too stringy and tough for my liking." Toot-toot answered "That said I'm willing to try this particular one while resuming my lessons. Anyways it would be best if you rested a bit and I feel like we won't get much unwanted visitors in this place."

Having received the permission of professor Toot-Toot, I dragged the carcass nearer to the tree and set up camp at the less burned part of the tree.

Some meat was eaten directly while some of it was dried with the hairdryer spell set on maximum. From a decent patch of its cleaned skin I made a rudimentary pack in which the dried meat was stored together with the impressive claws and canines of the beast.

They might be worth a bit of money and since I was lacking in that part I thought it might be worth a try.

As for the rest of the beast, I burned some and buried the rest. From my last experience it seemed that it pleased the Salamanders and Golems and there was no harm in getting some more allies in this crazy world.

While I was busy with my other chores and as soon as Toot-Toot finished his own share of bear meat, which was better than I thought, he resumed his role as teacher and we finished German for dummies.

As we finished with the introductory chapters of the follow up course; "Advanced" German for dense people, and we weren't attacked at all. Afterwards, feeling that it was as good a time as any, I decided to get some rest.

With a last thought of Maggie and a wish that the time dilatation of the Nevernever was working in my favor for once, I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

I chose to ignore the slight throbbing of the bite wound and the pain of the sprained ankle for the time being.

OoOoO

I woke up after a confusing night of sleep. Firstly nobody had tried to kill me, which was disturbingly strange. Secondly, my dreams were less haunted by the nameless youth I had to kill. Instead it was filled with images of a young girl with a wizard's hat. She appeared to be on a boat, accompanied by a group of people. Most of them I couldn't really make out, with one exception; a scarred young man, 6 foot 3 tall and build like a brick outhouse. He also seemed to be able to somehow carry around an enormous slab of iron whichcould be charitably called a sword, if you squinted hard enough. It didn't help that the image of the girl had occasionally had the image of Maggie superimposed over her, and that I knew with a questionable certainty that her name was Schierke.

Another surprise was that my bite wound had cleansed itself overnight from its previous festering state, and that the pain in my sprained ankle was reduced to a barely noticeable throb.

"Rise and shine! It's German learning time!" Toot-Toot shrieked with enough enthusiasm to condemn him to the special hell reserved for morning people, had he been mortal.

I stood up while he was harping on about something along the lines of the morning hour having gold in its mouth or some equally stupid German motivational saying.

After a bit of bear jerky for breakfast and batting down the craving for coffee a couple of times I once again belonged to the world of the living.

I took the shadow of a large and winged creature passing over us as a sign to move on, and thus we continued our trek.

While leaving the meadow I could have sworn I heard a faintest whisper in a sudden stirring of the wind.

"Tell Schierke Flora is so proud…" Is what I could have sworn I made out.

OoOoO

We reached the edge of the forest without encountering any problems, not counting my ongoing battle with the local language.

When we were just about to clear a crest of a hill just outside the forest Toot-Toot cried in alarm. I got a real good look of what appeared the same winged monster that made us move earlier this morning.

The reason for the good visibility was that he flew over our head less than 100 feet of the ground.

The red, winged creature had scales of differing sizes and forms covering his body. The talons of its hind legs gleamed with a poisonous sheen and its tail ended sideward spikes which meant that that appendage could probably also function as a bludgeoning tool. The front of the wings were also lined with sturdy looking spikes for good measure and out of its mouth trailed a trail of fire.

Having the luck of apparently not being spotted by the beastie I could only revel in the almost comical degree to which the thing appeared to be lethal.

That was until we really cleared the crest and I saw the town only a couple of hundred feet away.

Hell's Bells.

I was not going to risk everything only to be hunted by the townspeople for the fourth time. I was going to sneak past the whole deal, find a way home and…

The quiet was pierced by cry of pure primal fear which was picked up shouts of panic of others.

Too bad the first cry belonged to a farmer's daughter who was now running for her life towards the village.

Too bad the wyvern zeroed in on her and triggered my inner club-swinging, breast-thumping caveman into action.

"Change of plans. There's no fucking way I'm going to stand by and let that thing slaughter mortals in my sight" I snarled "Toot-Toot, I trust you'll have my back while I'm going to play with this Smaug wannabe."

Not waiting for an answer, I pointed Longinus towards the wyvern and charged.

Someday I'd get my Hero Syndrome sorted out and while I'm at it, I might even get the memo of gender equality through into my thick skull.

Today was not that day.

"Fuego!" I barked, using my righteous indignation as fuel and firing a finger thick beam of liquid inferno out of the point of the spear.

It hit the wyvern and of course simply splashed off its hide without doing much besides annoying it.

"Fuck"

The now-annoyed wyvern changed its direction and dove towards me, murder in its eyes.

**And we're done for this chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it.**

**In this chapter Dresden encountered the one of fundamental ideas which gave birth to this crossover. Some time ago I noticed that if you interpret Berserk!spell as highly optimized rituals out of the Dresden 'verse and couple it with the above idea, I could explain much of the weirdness and mechanisms of the Berserk 'verse without a need of any significant alterations.**

**Too clear things up: I see Schierke as a practitioner of low-mid raw power with a talent for communing, astral projection and illusions. Guts has a slightly higher base power and talent for kinetomancy, geomancy and biomancy. Guts uses his talent unconsciously because he truly believes he should be able to do the madness he does. The slight changes (if you want to call them that) needed to make this work is to interpret Schierke's spell to get the cadavers from the gallows as an intricate illusion. For flavor you could also imagine small flames starting to flicker when either of them gets _really_ close to them. The "magical background" of the environment is to highly charged for almost all the people in the Berserk 'verse to cause any aura related phenomenons the way Harry is causing them.  
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**As always feedback in the form of reviews is highly appreciated.**


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